I hope Heaven has WiFi

Dear Dad,

It's Friday April 8, 2011 around 1030a. This time two years ago I was heading to LAX wearing the shirt I had slept in, jeans I found on the floor, and suitcase that had one black heel and the black dress I would wear to your funeral five days later.

 I slept with my phone off that night and so I woke up to see several missed calls, a few texts messages and at least two voicemails from mom. Figuring that clearly something had happened, I got up, brushed my teeth, turned on my TV and was about to call mom back when she called again. When I picked up the phone Mom said the four words that changed my life and flipped everything I thought I knew about the world upside down.

Your father is dead.

To protect my families privacy, I won't discuss further details.

So less than an hour later I found myself in my best friends car racing to LAX on a Wednesday morning, so I could catch a plane that was leaving in less than an hour. No question you were already with me, Daddy, because anyone who has ever left from LAX knows, you need a good five hours before your flight even leaves to be sure you'll make it.

I went from my apartment to my gate in under 90 minutes.

That was April 8, 2009.

Today I sit in my apartment, no longer living in Los Angeles, with my three legged dog, writing a blog that mostly strangers will read, in an exercise in healing.

I hope you can read this where you are now, Dad. I wanted to let you know that I'm doing alright. Mom is doing good. Bronx (my dog) has helped bring me back to life and helped me to learn to open my heart again. I know, I have a dog! You would love him. Actually he would LOVE you. I don't there was ever an animal that wasn't drawn to you and your spirit. In caring for Bronx I've learned the challenges of being responsible for another life. In "raising" Bronx, I reminded every day of how you and Mom were the BEST parents. I never wanted for anything growing up, and not just "things". I was truly blessed to know that I meant everything to both you and Mom. I was your world. With your passing I realized you both are mine.

I was surprised (and still am) how I can literally feel that part of me is gone. But I've learned that the physical is gone. But you are around everywhere.

I spoke at your funeral. I talked about you talking me to Yankees games, how my passion for theatre is a direct result of your passion for theatre and music. But the think that was most important for me to share with everyone there was, that I would be ok.

I had planned to call you Wednesday morning. I don't think I'd talk to you in a week or so. For the first few hours that really bothered me. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, I didn't tell Dad I loved him one last time and on and on. Then I realized I could release myself from that bondage. I knew, with every fiber of my being that you loved me and more importantly for me, I knew you knew that I loved you so much. That thought still brings tears, but they are tears of comfort. I know I'm "lucky". I don't have guilt that I didn't get to say everything I needed to. You and Mom raised me in a house of Love. There was NEVER any doubt that I knew my parents loved me and supported me in anything I ever wanted to do. That is what I wanted to share at your service. That you lived your life in Love.

I hope you're having fun up there. I know you had the best seats in the house to catch our Yankees win in 2009. So far we're looking good in 2011, but I don't have to tell you that. I wanted to get to Boston to see our Yankees play the BoSox this weekend, but plane tickets are no joke! So I settled on going to see the Astros tomorrow. I have great seats, but I know no matter what you will forever have the best seats in the house.

I love you, Daddy.

CCL 1951-2009

Does this Blog make me look crazy....?

In the days since I posted my first blog, I've been trying to figure out what my NEXT entry should be about. I had thoughts like "what would the readers be interested in reading?" "Is anyone else interested in my latest shopping trip?" "Who's reading this blog anyway...?" That last though made me think, "IS anyone reading this blog???"

Which brings me to today's post.

While I spent my week worrying about what to write nex I realized, that if no one is reading this, then doesn't that mean I'm "talking" to myself?  Now, I am all for a running internal monologue, and tooting your own horn. But in an age when ANYONE can create a blog, twitter, facebook etc. Aren't we all just talking to ourselves with an unspecified audience? Its the 21st century version of, "if a tree falls, but no one's around does it make a sound?" Except in today's world it could be tweaked to, "If a blog gets posted and no one reads it does that make me crazy?"

Don't get me wrong I understand the argument of blogs are the new was to journal or keep a diary! But its really not...I'm not writing this to chronicle who my crush is now or what my future goals are. I'm writing this so other people can read this and get their own personal voyeuristic jollies off. (Its why any of us post ANYTHING online.) :)

So I guess my point is ( not that anyone is reading this); if you took away the smart phones and the mini computers, and people started saying out loud, what they are constantly tweeting; there would be no beds left in any of the hospital...they'd all be full. Because think about, if you passed someone on the street and you heard them say, "OMG! can't wait to hit the new sale lol", and they were by themselves. Wouldn't YOU think they were a bit nuts....?

-M

p.s.- Be sure to tell your friends about my blog! Follow me on twitter! www.twitter.com/HollywdHippie ! ;)

Start with a Dream

Instead of going into a big, "this is who I am" thing. I'm just going to jump write in.

Welcome and Thank You, for spending some of your daily internet clicking with me. My first post is "pre-written". It is my essay for the MLB Dream Job. I think I may have missed the boat, by not seeing that there was a 2nd page to the application. So here is my essay. ENJOY! ~M

Yes I am an actress, but PLEASE keep reading.

I fell in love with the game in the 4^th grade. My father let me skip school so we could go from West Point, NY to Yankee Stadium and sit in $5 (now $80) bleacher seats on opening day. Best seats in the park.  Those fans all knew each other, neighborhood gossip being traded between innings.  I’ll never forget as the wave began to circle the stadium. The bleacher fans began chanting, “Take the wave to Shea!” To this day I REFUSE to participate in the wave at any baseball game out of respect. Of course, “Take the wave to Citi Field!” is the more accurate chant now; however it doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the same. My father Clyde Curtis Ligons, wrote ‘Third Base Bag’ and ‘One Game at a Time’ which legendary Dodger Ron Cey recorded in 1976. We have always been a baseball family. When I move to Los Angeles in 2003 dad would call after every game and we’d dissect the game. I wore my Jeter shirt to every Dodgers game I attended. I believe that fans of all 32 teams can cheer their team on in a way that is respectful of the opposing team. Full disclosure I was asked to leave a bar following Game 4 of the 2004 ALDS. The Boston hat wearing bouncer and I failed to see eye to eye on his choice of head gear; Red Sox fans can be so sensitive.

I currently work as a receptionist. It is a job I enjoy because it allows me to put my organizational and time management skills to good use. As the first face clients and corporate executives see when they arrive at our office, I am very confident in the positive, energetic and knowledgeable image I represent for our company. The passion that I have for Baseball and the confidence I have in myself, is why I know I am the ideal person to represent the fans and MLB.

When the Rangers played the Yankees during the ALCS, I went from being the receptionist to the office Hazel Mae. Associates at all levels would stop by reception to talk stats and deconstruct the previous night’s game. During the 2010 season I flew to Los Angeles to attend All-Star weekend; Dallas in mid August to watch the Yankees comeback thanks to a classic Mo save and back to Dallas for the final two games of a brutal four game sweep in September. I prepared to watch the ALCS at home with my three-leg dog Bronx. (Yes, you read that right.) When the baseball angels smiled on me and I was able to snag a ticket from a co-worker for Game 2. I drove the five hours to Dallas, so I could sit in a stadium of Ranger Red and cheer my Yankees to a loss, from the VERY last row at the top of Arlington stadium.

During the 2010 ALCS fans were introduced to the three key components that will shape the 2011 season; $uper Teams, Cliff Lee in the postseason and smaller market teams weaseling into the post season.

Thanks to what I can only assume were previously undiscovered gold mines under The Green Monster and an untapped oil reserve in the Nationals dugout; the Yankees can no longer be singled out for “buying championships”. The Boss had the money so he spent it on his team.  Steinbrenner knew that you can’t take it with you, so he spent it while he was here.  The Fenway faithful are going to be surprised when they discover that a front office decision to fund the college education of the next eight generations of Crawford’s will not guarantee a postseason berth. And while the Nationals watch as Jayson Werth spends his millions on something other than haircuts, they will again be off come September. Maybe they’ll realize that kind of money might be better spent on a bionic arm…Strasburg I’m looking at you.

Cliff Lee has an opportunity to prove himself in the postseason (again). Lee may have avoided the pressure cooker that is Yankees baseball by returning to the Phillies. However someone may want to inform Cliff that the only thing allowed to have any cracks in Philadelphia is the Liberty Bell. He will have to be perfect. Lee is the face of the team. Despite the Phillies talent, Cliff is the only one who spurned the Yankees (twice) and dominated the postseason storylines. Phillies success or failure this season will ride on the left hander from Arkansas.

2011 will likely be dominated by stories about the AL East, Lee’s ERA, and Manny’s tantrums in Tampa. Meaning the Giants will ride high as returning champs. The Rangers will look to destroy the Phillies.  The Rays will find success if they block out the “way they were” headlines and continue to play NL style ball in the AL. They will battle and fight. They will ignore the hype of the Super Teams. We could see TB, LAA, SF show up in the postseason and show everyone that after 162 games legends are made on the field and not at Winter Meetings.

On April 8, 2009, eleven days before my birthday, my father passed away. I left Los Angeles to be with my mother in Texas and never looked back. I spoke at my father’s funeral and I talked about those Opening Day trips. Baseball has become my life line to my father and in the weeks following my father’s passing I remember watching a Yankees game and saying out loud, “Dad this year is going to be our [NYY] year.” I knew they were going to win the World Series that year. They had a hunger and intensity in 2009. A few trades and deals, by Cash didn’t hurt either. Watching the Captain fist pump on the final out. I closed my eyes, and said, “We did it Dad, we did it.”